Dear fashion girl crush,
I have loved you for many years, even when you moved over here and started hanging out with Agyness Deyn and filming an MTV show (which kind of fell apart, which was not your fault because you're fabulous and really smart and British, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise). Anywho, I loved you even though you constantly flaunted your really awesome collection of handbags and skinny man friends. And it just hurts my feelings that after all of this love and devotion, you've never once offered to share in the many blessings the great lord above has showered upon your adorable self.
Anywho, you may not know this but I've recently been laid off. And look at you! You had a fabulous handbag named after you by Mulberry. And gosh is it beautiful.
I was wondering if maybe, just maybe, you'd consider using your good fortune to cheer a sista up. One bag in brown would just be a sleigh ride of puppy dogs and unicorns in my bleak funemployed life. Or, you know, if you don't use this one anymore, I'd settle for that.